The cheerleading squads and pep bands are at traveling-strength, and the lower level seats are filled along the sidelines, making for a presentable audience on television. Inadequate parking is consistent with any substantial event Indianapolis has hosted since the invention of the horse-drawn carriage. Yes, even before Indiana was settled-- there was nowhere to park. It is a tradition as rich as the love for our sport or two red delegates every fourth November.
Nearing halftime of the semi-finals, Purdue has muscled its way through a double-digit deficit and back into the game, courtesy of the full court press and hometown advantage. Iowa cannot break it, as the anxiously throw the ball out of bounds and clumsily fumble the ball around the backcourt with the incompetence of a Pacer.
Ah, and for halftime, the classic "quick change" show. Shape-shifters, I tell you--I don't trust them. Their hocus-pocus chicanery is undoubtedly work of godless terrorists. NO GOD-FEARING AMERICAN CAN POSSIBLY CHANGE CLOTHES THAT FAST.
Iowa has not been able to overcome the full court press, and Purdue now has a double digit lead. The fiery Iowa pep band is calling for the referee and her high-drawn suit pants on a cross...if Purdue hangs on, a trombone will likely impale a skull before the evening's end, resulting in a bloody mess of zebra stripes at center court. No jay-kay-ing...this nerd is out of his pubescent mind.
As the final minutes close down, the philanthropic Hawkeyes will send the Boilers to the charity stripe for a flurry of free throws to add to their lead, and pit them against the winner of Illinois and Michigan State.
Final Score:
Purdue: 80
Iowa: 73
TERRORISTS: ???? only time will tell
