At La Casa del Juan, we have received a number of Christmas cards, mostly addressed to the girlfriend. (She's more popular. I'm just some asshole writer no one talks to unless forced.)
These cards -- most of them anyway -- are traditional, two-sided cards, folded down the center. They stand up on their own. We can place them throughout the house and enjoy the good cheer. They decorate our stairwell railing quite nicely, sitting up there behind the entertainment center and Christmas tree.
However, this year I noticed a disturbing tendency among card senders. Many of the "cards" we received were simply homemade, family photos with printed garland or something. What's worse -- they were one-sided.
One-sided Christmas cards are not folded in the middle. They do not stand up on their own. They do not have Hallmark logos. They're not even real cards.
And they piss me off.
I don't know how many we got. I'd count them to get an accurate number, but who knows how many have fallen behind furniture. We've tried leaning them on things -- no luck.
Oh, sure, I could scotch tape them to something, but why should I use office supplies? I could frame them, but who the hell frames Christmas "cards," besides insane grandmothers?
This situation has me rankled.
I believe in the spirit of Christmas and giving and all that, so Scrooge-accusers need not apply here. Besides, if anyone is cutting a corner here, it's the people who can't be bothered to send an actual card.
Sure, I want to see pictures of your family. But they don't make good decorations when they fall behind the television.
Next year, get your act together, people. I can't be bothered to prop you up.
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By the way, whoever thought it would be a good idea to send a Christmas card covered in glitter, you suck. Next year I'm sending you a box full of chalk dust, cat hair, and spiral notebook shreds.
